Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
