I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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