id be glad to
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
