woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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