i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I don't think brook has ever known best
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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