My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
