You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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