I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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