you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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