Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
