this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
