Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
