i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
