summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
