i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
