The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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