Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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