i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
