HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
