sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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