So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
