Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
