Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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