Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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