i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
