How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she looked like the before picture.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
