dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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