I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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