You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
