I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
