So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
