He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
