And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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