I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
