i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
