apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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