at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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