fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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