Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
