My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
