woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
