Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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