just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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