Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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