I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
