have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Randomize
