I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
