yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
