Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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