Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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