This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Michael Bay diarrhea
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
