If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
